This one’s a bit personal. Life teaches you a lot of lessons, a few obvious, a few hard to comprehend. I’ve been taught this lesson for many years now, yet I’m still in the process of understanding it. The truth being, you can’t change the people you care about for the better.. if they are to change, they’re the one who has to make the choice.
I am, and always will be one of those people that always reinforce the ones close to me to do better, to have higher goals and to be their best self’s. Ever since I could remember I was always that friend that was ready to help the ones close to me, let it be with their academics, relationships or life in general. I always had something to add and had their best interest at heart. I made constant effort to give them everything I could offer, only expecting them to make use of it. But the unfortunate truth is most of my efforts never panned out.
I have this unhealthy habit of getting too involved in the people close to me. Not in a creepy way, but I always look forward for their best interest and make constant efforts for their betterment. This is a boon and bane, something that is admirable but also something that causes me great pain. Imagine your friend, family or loved one asking for help and giving it your all, your time, effort, metal stress just to see it put aside, it hurts. Getting involved, includes watching them rise or fall, and unfortunately even if you give them the recipe for success on a golden platter, they might just walk over it.
The balance of giving your opinion, but not expecting them to be heard, is something I’ve only just got acquainted with. I don’t know if this is the right solution but I’ve gotten a peace of mind that I wasn’t familiar with. Sharing your knowledge that they might not own, and not regurgitating and leaving the follow up to them, if they need any, was the unseen balance line that I was looking for. As easy as it is to say, it’s not, in practice. But I’ve gotten better at it with time and it’s something I’m proud about.
I’m getting ahead of myself, everything I’ve mentioned isn’t common to everyone I know. Its a human trait, and one which even I struggle with. This awful trait that whenever others try to help us or give their honest opinion from their experience, we think we know better. I have struggled with this mostly relating to my parents, how I always thought I knew better growing up. But now I know, I’ll never know better and that’s okay. Moreover I learned we should never hold on to any believes religiously, instead we should give others the benefit of the doubt. This isn’t meant to be a rant, this is me realizing an obvious lessons too late.
